Saturday, November 12, 2011

Crush

I've got maybe 6 minutes until the reason I'm inspired to write makes an appearance, and although it's what I have been anticipating all afternoon from the moment of our last farewell, I've got to admit that I also am hoping I am actually allotted that said 5 now minutes remaining. That being said, its about two weeks since the last Happy Friday I was feeling incredibly exuberant. Since then the swing has swung as it does, day in, day out, moment now, moment passed...And from the landmarks holding the bridge between last Happy Friday a forthnight ago, to this Friday, there as much as a string bridge sags, have also been lows. But that's not what I wanted to get down in words. All too often I find that, in the past at least, on the most part I write in solitude, for those moments when I'm down and in so being, alone. Or, I must amend that last bit - feeling alone. Because despite the stubbornness or the self pity or whatever low frequency I'd allow myself to wallow in underneath it all I do know, most blindly, that I am not alone. Outside of my own heart there beats another which is in tune to the pace of mine and care for it. That says alot and that gives the greatest perspective to life. In a span of maybe two hours, you can be so overwhelmed by the multitude of thoughts and feelings that can overcome you, you can go from thoughts of the macrocosm around you to the relevance of it inward, and vice versa. When I say you 'can' I believe in fact you must, you cannot live without doing this, consciously or subconsciously. No matter what you may be doing, caught up in, your mind on another level is translating everything you do to another level above, within. For me, it could be listening to music, reading, sitting in silence, overhearing random conversations, talking to someone you don't care to talk to, listening to the one who matters the most.

The oddest thing is, I hardly even knew these words would be what would be typed out when I clicked the New Blog button. None of it. And I knew it would happen because like the way thoughts go and flitter from one thing to another, these words are replicas of my thoughts.

I'm writing because I'm glad. Today could be anointed as a special day for many reasons. Friday. Or 11/11/11. Or Remembrance Day. Or, as in my own personal case- waking up early while it is still dark to the full power of the Moon shining straight through my window into my face, over me. Entirely washing over me from where my head lay on my pillow. Maybe it was one blessing in replacement of the usual one, because it was a morning I didn't have that special person to send me off to work after fussing over my breakfast and lunch being packed. Despite my own complaints over that fussiness, I missed it even if it were for just that morning.

And well, that's how much I got down before the reason arrived :D maybe more another day.

3 comments:

  1. I loveeeeee the way you speak to yourself and muster up all these memories on your blog :)

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    1. Which quite obviously I love to read!

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    2. Thankkkkkkkkkkkkkk you Kiara...I love reading my own memories too hehe...O_O

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