Sunday, November 07, 2010


I’ve sat for an hour trying to write a poem. And it goes without saying – for it’s been already been said – that it just hasn’t come. Oh, I had one, ready to fly off my pen when I put it to paper – on week ago. Now I’ve got flickers of what it was, random words that were the structure of what it was supposed to be, but no poem. In one week, where did my poem go? In one week, how did so much change? Not in just one week only – in a day, an hour, a blink of an eye – when the change happened, even I do not know. How is it possible? Words want to put this experience in record, a memorial of some sort, but the experience itself defies expression.

I sit here alone. Surrounded by crowds, all going this way and that, on their business, and all I can think is of that over clichéd saying about the world and that one person. That one person who becomes your entire world. It is very scary. It’s the scariest feeling in the world – because you know once you let it happen, the second you lose them – that’s it. It. Poof. Bam. Ow.

Just thinking about it, it gives me shivers. Butterflies. Cold hands. I’m scared. I admit it. For all my bluster and bravado about love being nonsense, and marriage a sham, I confess ( I confess!) it’s only that – a sham of its own. Bluster and bravado. My shield of some sort. I don’t know. I guess you tend to want to, try to, need to, protect the very thing most close to heart. In my case, it’s exactly that – my heart.

I am scared. Because I know that if I let myself go, I will keep falling. I know, I know, I need to learn to bungee jump. And there I go again, my humour; what’s with that, right? Is it another self-constructed defence? I suppose, but then again, I do believe you’ve got to laugh at yourself first. It’s what I do. When I slip on ice and land on my glutes in public, yeah, I laugh! So do I take a page from my own book, and learn something? Fall, laugh? Fall, laugh!

No, I’m still scared. Maybe more than ever.

Tell me, does this love at first sight thing really happen? I believe in it. But believing in something, and it occurring to you, they’re really different things. When it happens if?) you go, “Wow.”, you go, “Whoa.”, you might go, “Watda?!” Well, I believe in it, but what I want to know is, how do you KNOW? Seriously, not fooling yourself into believing it’s what you wish it would be- how do you know? That’s the scary part.

Now, you’re going to want to know why I believe in such a thing, right. I may as well believe in Santa Clause, right? (Well, for your information, I do. Ha!). Ok. Love at first sight. Not infatuation, not lust, not eye candy. Love at first sight. Why? Because I do. Why do I do? Because, simply, I believe in soulmates. I do! I’ve wrote about this before. I believe someone has got that missing part of you out there, the muniute you meet, you feel something. Like a piece that’s clicked back in place. And you sort of don’t know why. It’s just one of those things that are beyond reason. You might know why. You might know sooner or later. But the feeling itself, damn, beyond explanation. The hard part is knowing for sure. Because you’re going to have been wrong that many times before.

I guess I've just got to find out.                   

Wednesday, November 03, 2010


Hello World! :D

(suhaniiiiiiiiiiiiii suhaniiiiiiiiiiiiiii suhaniiiiiiii :P)

I had planned to blog on the first of the month, welcome special little November in with open arms with my usual spiel. Got busy, and sidetracked, if you could call it that (as blogging is usually my way off the path, right).

Well, it's the third. Not too late, can't be too late to let one cherish something special na.

If I could have my way, I would be putting big smile smileys on the end of every line. Well, I do have my way, but I choose not to because I prefer writing as writing ought to be. Ah well!

Anyways, since the start of November, well the world has simply been more ways than could possibly be described. Lack of sleep (kyun aajkal neend kam aur khwaab zyaada hai?) and food and all that stuff that gets put to the side in the face of more important things..regardless, the world remains just so beautiful!!

When it hits you, when the sun shines all that much brighter after a long time of gray skies, well you feel its just so much WORTH it, somehow, to have suffered, to know the blessed feeling of ..the sunshine.

The worst part is enjoying it, letting yourself really enjoy it, and then have it taken away .. I guess that's the fear that keeps us appreciating what we have today, and what keeps us holding back entirely..but why waste the time worrying about it, when you've got precious moments to cherish it and smile for today.

That said, I have got to get back on that so called welltread path and get some more work done! BOOHOO but its almost at the end.. so will have some relief to look forward to.. ahh sleep and, yes yes, food :P

Everything looks so beautiful today ..more so, because of all the yesterdays we thought were not. :D

Nowww let the musiicc playy on :D
suhaniiiiiiiiiii suhaniiiiiiiiiiii
suhaniiiiiiiiiiiiiiii suhaniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii suhaniiiiiiiii

the song that's been on my mind this past three days hehehe :
Mausam suhana duniya bhi kitni suhaani
Kitne haseen yeh pal, dheere dheere chal..zindagaani :D
Manzil hai saathi mujhko sunaati kahaani
Ab na kabhi tu badal dheere dheere chal zindagani :)

Hai nayi aarzoo..raah guzar rubaru
Armaan jaage hai.. haule haule kahein
Yeh bahaar chalen, yunhi pyaar chalen
Dil ki maujon mein dekho nayi hai rawani
Kitne haseen yeh pal dheere dheere chal zindagaani

Mausam suhana duniya bhi kitni suhaani
Kitne haseen yeh pal dheere dheere chal zindagaani

Ek nasha chha gaya..tera naam aa gaya ..
Hothon pe mere puchha jo hawa ne,
Mere yaar bata.. tere dil ka pata
Jahaan base dil wohi hai duniya basani
Kitne haseen yeh pal dheere dheere chal zindagaani

Mausam suhana.. duniya bhi kitni suhaani
Kitne haseen yeh pal dheere dheere chal zindagaani