Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Rain

Naina lagiyan baarishan
Te sukke sukke sapne vi pijj gaye
Naina lagiyan baarishan
Rove palkan de kone vich neend meri
Naina lagiyan baarishan
Hanju digde ne chot lage dil te
Naina lagiyan baarishan
Rut birha de badlan di chhaa gayi

These lines are just amazing. Everytime I make myself not hear the song -- despite it being overplayed, as usual -- and I come back to it, the lyrics just take my breath away again.

It's just so amazing to come to terms with the fact that everything we experience is already been experienced that many times over. We feel that living it, feeling it, loving, hurting, pain, all of those things we meet with face on is some part of what makes us unique, what makes us distinct. We have to come to realize that we are not. We aren't. We don't want to be just anyone, another number. But what makes us different.

What makes our pain anything more special?



I found that we might prefer to hold on to our pain because it stimulates a purpose within. To attempt to even eradicate this pain may be akin to losing ourself, our sense of identity. I don't know what it is, but even continuance with that pain lessens the pain itself. It's so hard to let go of it, but it somehow cures it of itself. For, that pain that has been felt changes the pain itself, it changes the love itself, and beckons the question whether if that love has changed, can it then persevere? How can you reconcile this love that has been blurred back to the distinct image you once had. I don't know. I don't have the answers. If I did, I guess I wouldn't have asked them.

Maybe.

I just know that I ask myself why I pass this time in this occupation when there is much of the world I could dedicate this energy to.

It doesn't have to end in love really, does it? I mean, just because I don't get a happy ending does not mean that I can't make one for the world, for others, right?

Sometimes, you just have to bear the pain; when it hurts the most -- like cutting off a part of yourself that has become diseased -- you just have to grit your teeth together, hold your head high, face to the sky, breath in the oxygen, and it would almost look as if you were smiling.

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