Friday, October 01, 2010

Opal

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Hello October!

Can't really believe that September has gone so fast. I feel like it's gone in a blink of an eye, not really being able to recall what happened; and yet, so much has happened, so much has changed. Isn't that what September usually denotes? Change. The decline in temperature, the colours emerging on leaves, the fall of them at the whisper of wind, the start of new things. And, yes, so much, in fact, quite alot, has changed, both outside, and somehow within. Some things, granted will always be there, irremovable, because it's that much a part of yourself. But then again, life itself is dynamic, and succumbs to change.

Why is change one of those recurring themes? Because it's so constant? It's one of those things you can continuously expound on. It hurts in many cases, but you've still got to accept it. Embrace it.

I had a beautiful day. That's saying something for the first of October. It's another of those firsts, that have you feeling like its a new slate, ready for that splash of color. First, it was what I call my Tum Se Hi weather, you know it: bright blue skies, wispy white clouds, and plenty of sunshine. Recipe to make your heart smile. Also perfect Sitting on the Bench writing weather. Yes! After months, I was back on my orange bench under the (still green) trees, with the warm sun beaming on my head, writing! Trust me when I say this, but that's one of the best feelings ever, and yeah, there are alot of them.

You want to know what's another? Missing someone so much you almost hate them, feel miserable, wake up feeling horrible, you miss them when they're right there! It's a killing feeling, but let me tell you, it makes you feel wonderful deep down inside to know that feeling. It's confusing, yes, but it makes you feel a little more ..alive.

Sometimes you just can't help but smile, no matter what you're feeling, because, well, you're feeling.

Today, haven't got a song, rather, a shair.

Mujhe yaad hai woh din
jab main bhaage bhaage tumhaare paas aati thi
tumhe bataane …ke suno, aaj aisa hua ke..

Aur tum.. hanskar
Mere ehsaasaat se bekhabar
Mujhse kehte
"phir kabhi bataana ...abhi zara masroof hoon"

mooh latkaaye chalee jaati thi
par intezaar rehta
tumhe bataane ka..
ke aaj aisa hua ke..

bewaqoof thi main
aur itni…yeh kabhi nahin socha
ke tumhe kya …agar aaj aisa hua ke…

aur jab ..
aaj aisa hua ke...
main tumhaaree taraf mudee
rokk liya maine apne aap ko
sambhal gayi hoon ab main…shaayad?

par phir bhi gham hai
ke aaj aisa hua ke….


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