Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Vaseline

I don't know what to write about. It's just one of those days. Yeah, that kind. But I want to write. So here I am letting my fingers go on their own again.

Weather, meh. It's not bad, I mean it's weather, and I love every type of weather, but it's not .. you know... beautiful? Ok it is beautiful; It's wet, cold, breezy, and gray. And as we know I love gray. I love rain. I love ...weather. Why does the weather always have to reflect my mood though? When it's a blah, could be better, mood, the sky is blah could be better. When I'm jumping off the walls with happiness, the sun is shining out. Yeh kya hai?!

Well, we did have a week of amazing weather, but unfortunately I hardly even saw much of that sunshine and heat, working non stop morning till night. OK so maybe I did go outside for a few hours in between, and ran around and whatnot. In fact, the first time I went outside DURING sun hours, I was jumping with excitement because I would actually experience the warmth. My friends weren't exactly wondering what was wrong with me, else they wouldn't have been my friends, but they were a bit boggled. In any case, we had fun crossing the road. Woo.

In fact, me with my ever questioning, random mind, as we were on the median waiting for the traffic to slow while coming back, I asked: "if you were to get run over by a car, and allowed to choose which type of car you got run over by, which would you choose?"

(Yes, I ask this type of stuff frequently; don't waste time wondering.)

Max as usual, took the question literally and picked the ugliest big handicap bus going by at the same moment.

Sana as usual, was stupified by the question and asked me to repeat it a few times. Almost got run over while attempting to understand and multitask at the same time. Finally, she chose a ferrari.

As we crossed and reached the other side, I rolled my eyes and said "WELLL you didn't ask what I'd choose!"

Ki aa, they wonder.

"An ambulance!" I grin.

...


Funny. How I thought one friendship would end, and accepted it so easily. And it didn't end. Perhaps, I knew that it couldn't, that's why I accepted it so readily? I don't know. But some friends are like that: somehow, no matter what happens, you know there couldn't really be an end. Because you've become a part of each other, and share some strong bond of understanding that it's impossible to break. Who knows. There are a few people who I can think of while thinking about it. Maybe you're reading this and think that's you. Who knows.


But it is funny. I have to admit it. It really is, because it's like we spent such a long time avoiding each other, going out of the way to not communicate, even though, at some instances we had to, and when we did, it was brief and impersonal. But even when apart it was like we were still as close as ever because continually ignoring was a remembrance to our relation. The one most memorable moment during that blackout period was the guy at the coffee place asking me where he (my un-friend) was, and I just shrugged and mumbled something incoherent about him being busy and I don't know yada yada and asked for my coffee please. The coffee guy says, "If you don't know, who will?". That was like a slap on the face, or a knife in the heart, okay not so dramatic as that, but it had that similar effect, to the point of making me wonder why exactly we had become unfriends. We didn't hate each other. We were as close as anything almost. We understood each other maybe more than family could. But somehow, this. All I could do was smile, don't know if it was sadly, or wistfully, or what. But all I could do was smile. Better that, than cry. Craziest thing was that not 2 minutes after that encounter, of me making those weird excuses to coffee guy, around the corner came who else, but the one and only unfriend. Coffee guy must have been wth-ed.

And yes, it is really funny. I have to say it, but it is. Something had to happen to restart the program. But it came so easily. Days, weeks, months, of being complete strangers. And then that eye-to-eye reaffirmation of our understanding, and the reboot of the friendship. It was like just picking up the thread where it left off, as if it hadn't broken. I am not sure if it got stronger, or something else entirely. For awhile, it was certainly cautious, on both parts. But even till today, we can talk about that blackout period as if it were just a trip up while walking, just a booboo, an accident. Who knows. That's friendship.


......


So the guy who fell in love with me at first sight is married, and I am free, yipee. I don't understand. He sees me for maybe 2 minutes, and decides he is in love. So in love he is ready to buy me a car, a house, expensive jewellery, roses. All before even talking to me. We ir do alert? In any case, I had to break his heart. (Even if it was by way of his uncle telling him that I don't like his [missing] teeth.) I'm sorry, but I don't know you, I don't even like you, and I no I don't need to, want to, get married next month.

He found another girl and 10 days later he marries her.

OH-kay.


What's with this extremist loverboy attitude? Leave me alone please!

Yeah, so just when I think I am free of one, there comes another. Yeh koi lineup comittee hai?

This one is now a 16-17-18 year old thereabouts boy, cute in that babyfaced way, but nevertheless, I refuse to entertain thoughts of being a child abuser. The poor child visits my workplace each and every day. No day off. Each and every day. He's too shy to talk, how do I know? My friend Sana overheard his friends (who were standing like the royal guard outside) ask him why doesn't he talk to me, right before he summoned up his bravado to come walk in, towards...and past me. Poor, poor kiddo. I know I look like a bacha too, but .... myeh?

....


Tomorrow is supposed to be a bit nicer. Sun shining, a peek of spring again. Hopefully we can go out and play tag and hopscotch again. Word of caution, don't wear heels, or gold flats, while doing so.

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