Sunday, April 02, 2006

Live to Love | Love to Live

Love is life. There are many times perhaps when you would doubt it. But when it comes down to what the essence of life is, LOVE is that fuel that sustains it.
It is the foundation that makes us what we are, what we are worth, what LIFE is worth to us. Love and life,  in some ways, are interchangeable. One without the other is useless. Love is what gives us that meaning to life, to look forward to each day again and again, that which gives us that foundation of hope, a meaning to 'tomorrow'.
For many, love is that 'romantic' type of love, the love for 'someone special'. That person we all dream about, someone to spend the rest of our lives with, that person who would be there to hold your hand when you need it most, someone to be there to wipe away your tears, someone to ensure you dont even have a reason to shed them. Someone who you can spend moments, sharing everything, anything. That 'soulmate' that we dream of; most usually everyone's dream. This dream, for a future of 'love' .. is something that keeps us dreaming of a life .. a beautiful life, a beautiful future, with this special person.
Then again, there are times, it seems, that love is the reason for tears. When it has you sleeplessly sobbing through silent nights, only to fall asleep finally, in exhaustion. When everything seems to shatter around you, when your world is filled with darkness, without hope. Dreams about that special someone, somehow just dont become reality.. and only remain shadows in those dreams. Your heart, it seems, could never feel as heavy. Memories bring fresh tears to the surface, fresh hurts that rise up and choke you. Moments when you dont know whether to cry, to scream, to just sleep the world away. Each time you wake, nothing seems bright. The same sun that once made you feel so warm, so rejuvenated, it may as well have not been there for the coldness that pervades you thoroughly. You wake, and the realizations of the hurts flood back into memory, and you wish everything had only been a bad dream. But it isn't. The world seems a struggle then. A future that feels blank. When nothing seems to give you hope. Love seems nothing but pain.
But, it isnt really so. Darkness is not the opposite of light, it the the absence of light. And without darkness, one can never know the true worth of light. Happiness exists, as does sorrow. Without having at least felt sorrow some time in life, one cannot truly know the value of happiness. Love is always good. It isnt love that breeds pain. It is the consequences, the situations, the absence of love that hurts. For, love, in the pure sense, should ALWAYS beget, if not happiness, then contentment. Love isn't always about possession. To love someone truly, it is just enough to know the one you love is happy. Whether it puts you in that picture or not is not of significance. Just loving someone alone, makes you feel content. And their happiness should be yours.
Life isnt only about heartbreaks. There is so much more to life than wallowing in self pity because of a heartbreak. Yes, they do hurt, very much so. But love exists even beyond romantic love. Instead of looking at what you have lost, think instead what you do have. There is so much you have that others do not. If you believe you have the worst life ever, think again. There is a world out there where people suffer much more. Your life may seem like hell to you, but there are those who have not the time to even complain. That you even are able to think, to dream, that in itself is something worth being grateful for.
Sometimes, it is only a matter of being stuck within your own bubble. You hurt, but even worse, you wallow in the pain. You may say: "I'm trying, but  nothing can erase the hurt". You aren't trying enough. It's simply a bubble within which you know that if you take a little bit more effort, you can move on. But you dont want to. Inside, you only want to cling onto what WAS. You shed tears because you can't face the reality that you have to move on. And you let others know you are hurt, because it gets you the attention that somehow, sates that hurt. Feeling pity from others makes you sink into that bubble a bit more. Experiencing love is all part of growing, but it is letting go that is the mark of maturity.
Love exists in other relationships; with parents, siblings, relatives, friends. Sometimes the worth of these relations are put into the shadows; overshadowed by the magnitude of 'romantic' love. But these persons are there for a reason. Not just because of duties or obligations, they care for you. Love is everywhere. It is in everything you do; everything you do, you do it for a reason, and that reason is in hopes of achieving something. You find things you love doing, or in hopes of one day achieving something you would love. You build your life day by day, and it's in waking each day with a smile, just simply because of LIFE, there to be enjoyed, to be loved.
Just because you shed tears doesn't mean life is hell. Sorrow comes hand in hand with joy. To have one without the other ascertains a life that is off balance. We experience them all, for the reason that we learn and grow stronger. The one who has only known happiness in life is really the one who is ignorant. Dont just rue the hurt, experience it, and give thanks that you are still able to have a mind to determine where and what things went wrong, which mistakes you made, what it was that you were naive about, and make yourself stronger. The strength within is that which gives you, not only more wisdom on approaching life, but it's what make you feel with others, to understand them truly. How would you understand a person's sorrows, if you never experienced your own? But, Because you HAVE, you have something to share, to hold someone's hands, and know the right things to say, the right advice to give. You are worth something to others, because you are a person of your own, and can be there for them.
Love: it's first within yourself to find. Without it in yourself, you will not find it elsewhere. Accordingly, you find strength, hope, determination, all within yourself first. Sure, there will be friends, family, special people who inspire you. But while inspiration may come from outside, motivation can only be found within. YOU are the one who has the power to live your own life. It is your own hands that perform your actions, your feet that take you places, your eyes that look towards a destination, your heart beating those silent dreams, that mind that thinks and feels for you. It can never be anyone else, as much as you may wish it. In the end, its all upto YOU. How you approach life, depends on you. It is you who make your own dreams reality. Sure, it depends on circumstances, doing the right thing the right time. But without you taking the first step, you can never really tell whether that path would ever have been worth anything. And its for you to find that hope to make your own dreams come true. Faith in a future, ensures yourself that there is a reason for being. It is because of that faith that you will wake up and smile, just because you HAVE woken. Even in obstacles, it is that firm determination that you are doing what you can, with a true heart. And with that determination to be true, you can never regret anything.
When you realize love, experience true love, there is nothing in the world that could deter you from loving life. Everything will look beautiful to you. You may complain, but you will take it in stride. Sorrows will come, and imprint permanent lessons upon our hearts, but the wounds will heal, wash away as the ocean's tide washes away the imprints upon the shore. Love is an ocean that is always present, sometimes still, peaceful, sometimes dark and murky, sometimes wild and dangerous, at times warm and playful. But love is the epitome of what makes you love life itself.

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